Dramatis Personae

Dramatis Personae:

Keith, or Bear, a 61 year old male

Jody, or Beaver, a 57 year old crippled female

Bloodroot, or Goat, our 27 year old son

Bird, our collapsible manual wheelchair

Tinky-Winky, my walker

Friday, March 10, 2017

Monday, October 19, 2015 Granada

Today we leave Madrid for Granada, a major trek. The high-speed train tracks lead to Malaga. We ride the bullet train (AVE, or “bird”) from Puerta de Atocha to Antequera Santa Ana.

My computer gives up the ghost on the train, the battery refusing to restart. Since his arrival in Madrid, Bloodroot has refused to power down the computer correctly via Windows 10. He simply slams the top closed, so that by the time the poor thing finally shuts down, he has completely drained the battery. Alas, alack: the computer defeats us, by simply quitting. Would the battery have given up the ghost anyway? Of course, but probably not so soon. Going forward, we have only our phones. I have a dumb phone, albeit with a phone number and international access. Bloodroot has an iPhone without a number and the disposable phone he purchased at the Madrid airport. Can we, as 21st-century people, survive with such limited access to the internet? We boldly venture forth.

In the physical world, at Antequera Santa Ana, the train abandons us, booting us out to a waiting bus. Fortunately, we spent all that time on Saturday at Puerta de Atocha (Madrid’s main train depot), thus RENFE expects us. The employees on the lookout for a family of three with a wheelchair quickly locate us. Somehow the RENFE bus just feels higher level, perhaps because unlike the lifts in El Escorial buses, this operational lift goes up and down. Big bonus, the employees actually can operate the lift! They rapidly load me onto the bus.

The bus trip allows us to see things passing by more slowly than the train did. We see lots and lots of olive trees. According to the Bear, we pass nothing else. He considers our current journey down to Granada to be a trip through a wasteland. Looking more closely, I feel North Africa and Maghreb approaching through the dry yellow hills surrounding us.


For the duration of the bus trip, I stay in my uncomfortable wheelchair (“Humph!” says Bird) as I really don’t want to have an argument with RENFE.

I speak of the joys of various trips with a woman across the aisle. Her fluent unaccented English leads me to believe her to be a fellow American. Wrong! She’s Dutch. She encourages me to travel, explaining that she spends all her disposable time and income doing so. She has just spent a few weeks in the south of Spain. Now heading for Granada, she sadly admits that she hadn’t booked a ticket in advance for the Alhambra, forcing her to instead buy a spot on an overpriced tour.

Arriving at the Granada train station, we leave the bus behind. Accustomed to huge American taxis, we fruitlessly search for a reasonably sized cab, at least a Prius station wagon, for goodness sake! Luck deserts us. We pile into a cab far too small for us. In this tiny car, we hook Tinky the Walker around Keith’s neck and cram his wheels behind my back. Each time the cabbie brakes, my back uncomfortably bangs against the Tinky’s wheels. Fortunately, the taxi quickly delivers us to our new Airbnb flat.

Using the dumb phone, we contact Emilio, our Airbnb host. He meets us at the apartment and lets us in. Our beautiful flat boasts marble floors and delightful balcony windows. Keith and I take the twin beds next to the bathroom so that I needn’t walk so far with Tinky. Bloodroot gets the big double bed at the opposite side of the flat. Now the bathroom has a bidet beside the toilet, which I must maneuver Tinky around. Each time I visit the pot I think, “Who put this fucking bidet in my way?”

Safely settled in, what shall we do? As the clock says only 2PM, let’s tour! We take off for the Royal Chapel, Ferdinand and Isabella’s tomb. Entering, we eavesdrop on an English tour passing by.

History considers Isabella the brighter of the two Reyes Católicos (Catholic Kings), in our parlance “the brains behind Pa.” On their sarcophagi, her sculpted face holds greater intelligence but more otherworldly calm, as if contemplating eternity with serenity as she faces down Death. I believe Death may have been scared, for once.

By marriage, Isabella (Elisabeth in English) and Ferdinand united the Iberian Peninsula, creating Spain. Together they completed the Reconquista (re-conquest), triumphing over the Moors. Intensely Catholic, they believed that all of Spain (actually all of Europe) should have one religion, Catholicism. Earlier, in 1480, to maintain Catholic orthodoxy and enforce/insure compliance they instituted the Spanish Inquisition, headed by one Tomás de Torquemada.

After 1492, the Inquisition focused mainly on the recently, forcibly converted Jews and Muslims. Never the bugaboo created by the fervid 19th-century Protestant writers, the Inquisition began as a government sponsored channel to eliminate extra-judicial killings. Historical records, although undeniably spotty, have the court examining 150,000 people and murdering 3,000. (Other sources claim 5,000 victims.) But the auto de fes, with the human torches, provided massive spectacle and propaganda, no? To extract confessions, the court did use torture (theoretically only in 15-minute sessions and leaving no permanent damage). Torture, a legal norm at the time, produced acceptable confessions. The court also relied upon elaborate inter-community spying, reminiscent of the East German Stasi, 450 years later.

Back to Isabella, who perished first, preceding her husband Ferdinand in death by a few years. Ferdinand, a poorly behaved widower, did his utmost to steal kingdoms not rightfully his, including hers. She died believing she had accomplished great things—Spain regained, united under one religion, wholly Catholic, rich beyond belief from the discovery of the Americas. She never knew what havoc her actions bequeathed her descendants, her country, and the world.

The couple had many children, five surviving childhood. Their daughter Catherine married Henry VIII of England. Henry VIII’s & Catherine’s child, Mary Tudor (aka Mary I), inherited her mother’s and grandmother’s overzealous Catholicism, raining down disaster upon England during her short reign. Immense joy had greeted her Spanish princess mother’s (Catherine’s) marriage but times changed. Mary lost her popular acclaim by marrying her first cousin once removed, Philip II. The English had no desire to rejoin the Spanish royal family. To add insult to injury, Mary began burning people, in the name of God, of course. History has not been over-kind to her. In England, Mary Tudor became Bloody Mary, nearly universally reviled, yet in Spain, Madrid has a subway stop named for her (Maria Tudor). Guess it depends which side you’re on.

My favorite of Isabella’s children is Juana la Loca (Joanna the Crazy). She married the playboy prince Philip the Fair. Her obsession with him compelled her to drag about his coffin for years, earning her the ”Mad” epithet. She inherited the Spanish crown, but her son Carlos, ruling in her name, ensured she remained incarcerated as a lunatic. Current historians debate the level of her purported insanity, given her son’s self-serving behavior. Artists love Juana; we saw many paintings of her in the Prado. Think about it. What great material!

Returning to here and now, leaving the sarcophagus, Bloodroot goes down into the crypt, inaccessible to me because once again we encounter “fucking steps”.

Keith returns to our flat as Bloodroot and I tour a madrasa or Islamic school. The school hasn’t been operational since the Reconquista in 1492. A previous unenlightened generation plastered over the school’s incredible Moorish engravings in the walls. One day, perhaps 50 years ago, some of the plaster fell off of the wall revealing amazing hidden beauty. Curators carefully removed all the remaining plaster to discover that whatever zealous Christian who had covered all the Moorish artwork had done us all an immense favor. Protected from the elements, the geometric intricacies carved into the stone retain their bright green, red and blue paint, reminding Bloodroot of the vibrant medieval colors in Louis IX’s Sainte Chapelle in Paris, all the more so for its beautiful tile. An uncovered window points toward Mecca, channeling the prayers of ancient students in the correct direction.


We return home, retrieving Keith. Leaving the flat, we walk to the old Moorish neighborhood called the Albayzin, and begin to wander. Narrow alleys containing lots of steps wind their way up the hill. The thousand-year-old neighborhood laughs at the concept of wheelchair accessibility. Fortunately, I travel with two people who don’t believe in handicap inaccessibility. The shallow stairs have one step up then 10 or 20 feet flat. We pick a restaurant from Rick Steves’ bible. Bloodroot, using his GPS, guides us on a meandering path to the restaurant. Looking around we note every available space holds a stall staffed by merchants aggressively hawking souvenirs, the identical souvenirs probably all made in China.

As we ascend, a woman steps out of a restaurant, inviting us in. No way! Bloodroot has decided that we will dine at the place mentioned in the Rick Steves’ bible. Following his lead, we ascend the many steps, at long last finding the storied restaurant. We look up. A  flight of perhaps twenty much steeper steps lies between us on the street and the restaurant. Accepting defeat, never easy for the males, we began to descend. We return to the restaurant where the woman had beckoned to us earlier.

This Moroccan-style restaurant, Terteria Kasbah, has low tables and backless chairs, definitely a challenge. Somehow, the boys get me out of Bird and onto the edge of the table in a booth with a back, while they take the backless chairs. (Balance, a big problem with MS, demands chairs with armrests and a back. I tumble easily to the floor.) Hookah pipes seem to be everywhere. We try to avoid them as we really don’t want to breathe tobacco smoke while we dine. Looking in a stall across the alley, I see some lamps I like. Unfortunately, they don’t match our mid-century modern house back in Denver. And how would we get them home in one piece? Easily cowed by the boys, I give up. We enjoy the reasonably priced, Moroccan food. I devour my eggplant dish. After dinner, we smell more hookahs coming out to various tables. The tobacco, heavily cut with fruitish smells, primarily apple, wafts by pleasantly. Remember the old saw about tobacco settling the stomach? May be true!

Sated, we bumpily return to our high-end Airbnb and turn in for the night.


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