Dramatis Personae

Dramatis Personae:

Keith, or Bear, a 61 year old male

Jody, or Beaver, a 57 year old crippled female

Bloodroot, or Goat, our 27 year old son

Bird, our collapsible manual wheelchair

Tinky-Winky, my walker

Sunday, January 29, 2017

Friday, October 16, 2015: Modern Art Today-The Centro de Arte de Reina Sophia

Today I promise the boys an easy day. Every time I have said this, unfortunately, I’ve been guilty of uttering a complete and total lie. Will today be the exception that proves the rule? Should I just go with the flow and change my name to Trump? We discuss enforcing rapid progress through art museums and focusing on the art we actually want to see. This approach presents massive difficulty for us. How would we know what we want to see until we see it? Our son moves even more slowly than we do AND he can read Spanish, eliminating our excuse, “Oh, we can’t understand the description by the artwork. Best move on.”

But first, we worry about traveling to Granada on Monday. We decide we must consult with RENFE. Examining RENFE’s website on the internet, I learn of a planned AVE track from Madrid to Granada, to be completed in 2020. Currently, no train tracks exist between Córdoba and Granada. Huh? (Ave means bird in Spanish, thus bird the flying train, causing massive jealousy on the part of my Bird, the wheelchair.)

Duly confused, after breakfast, off we go to Puerta de Atocha. Our proposed stop, Handicap Customer Service, where RENFE provides assistance for people like me getting on trains.

Our first helper, a gentleman working in the Handicap Customer Service Center, becomes so confused by the concept of an AVE train and a bus that he walks us over to the more advanced people who work in Disabled Customer Service. He ambulates most curiously. I later learn that RENFE hires the handicapped to assist the handicapped. We spend around half an hour with a woman who takes my name and enters it into a computer, we think to tell the train people to have ramps where we stop, but we’re not entirely sure that we accomplish anything in our time here. She also seems bewildered by the bus, but does tell us that the bus will be accessible at the time needed. Sometimes I think our destiny involves living  at Puerta de Atocha. Fortunately, our Airbnb lies very close to the Atocha train station. Oh well, if we fail with trains & buses, a cab from Granada to Córdoba costs €130.

Trains settled or unsettled, we begin our art museum filled day with a trip to the Centro de Arte de Reina Sophia, highly touted by Mr. Steves. We ride a most excellent external glass lift up to the fourth floor where we find a plethora of very modern art and art installations. Although we agreed and desire to walk along fairly rapidly, I can’t get Bloodroot to move. He changes his mind and decides he must see everything no matter how much we have to see today. He carefully and slowly reads about each artwork in Spanish. All reading in other languages requires unhurried, meticulous attention, regardless of your fluency level. Ignoring our near constant heckling and cajoling, Bloodroot insists we spend about an hour on the fourth floor. Ugh, children!

The curator loves film as an art form and has matched each piece with an appropriate movie. So Dalί’s The Great Masturbator stands beside the short film Un Chien Andalou (The Andalusian Dog). Why do all of these famous Spaniards title their work in French? Fortunately, Bloodroot does not insist upon watching each movie or we would have never come home! (Actually, I later learn that he already saw Un Chien Andalou a few years back.) I’m not sure I have anything really to report, except that I see nothing exceptional, actually nothing really worth seeing. Perhaps Bloodroot has a more positive experience to share. He tells me he didn’t find it too interesting. Alternatively, Keith finds this a most excellent museum floor, chiding me on my lack of sophistication. I admit, I like representational art. I loved Florence!

We travel, again via the most exotic glass elevator, down to the second floor where we push through a lot of Miróes and Dalίs. We begin to see photos and various art pieces about the Spanish Civil War, both Communist and anti-Franco posters. We walk through a lot of precursory studies done by Picasso before eventually walking into the room housing the main event, Guernica. I look at Guernica for really long time, annoying the boys. Guernica, perhaps the world’s most poignant piece of art ever, shows the world turned upside down by the Fascist bombing of a Basque market town. I take in the bull, the symbol of Spanish strength, who stands powerless before the might of modern warfare. The piece has a drawn electric lightbulb at the top, I believe to show the power of the machines, capable of generating both good and immense evil. I ponder the horse screaming in fear alongside the dead women and children. Even now, the images leap forth from the canvas, demanding an end to war, powerfully reminding us that we can easily all become “collateral damage.” I am moved.

After Guernica, we find ourselves sore and hungry. Fried. But we’ve had enough of the Reina Sofia. We make to leave but lose each other. Regrouping, we collect Bloodroot and our belongings.  We begin to look for lunch.

Foraging with the Bear, we drop in on the workers in our favorite wine store, which has conveniently just opened for the day. We explain that we seek a nice place for lunch where we can eat good food, have a glass of wine and relax. They suggest a place called La Veronica, where one of them works.

Obeying orders, we march over to La Veronica where we enjoy a wonderful fixed-price plate (€11) lunch and some wine. The modern décor welcomes us; we sit in front of a pastel-colored wall with some Warhol-inspired canvas hung on it. Refreshed and relaxed, we leave, perhaps a bit reluctantly.

But art calls us! Onward! Back to the Thyssen. Having previously enjoyed the Munch exhibit Wednesday evening, this time we visit the museum’s permanent collection. We start on the first floor, most excellent, containing lot of the 20th century artists we like. But under the guise of complete honesty, I must admit that I sleep through most of the first floor. This disease has caused me to sleep in every museum that we have encountered, and relaxing with a glass of wine at lunch doesn’t help! Is there a prize for sleeping in every major European museum? If so, I could win!

I wake for the second floor, almost entirely given over to Spanish Impressionism. Like the Catalan Art Museum, we see artists unknown to us who painted in the Impressionist manner. We love it! We so embrace breaking out of the Monet, Manet, Renoir circle. We spend a delightful afternoon surrounded by the art of Spain. Far too early, the museum closes.

We leave around closing time knowing we have one more Madrid thing to see. We roll over to Charles III’s Botanic Gardens, neighboring the Prado. Let in gratis as we haven’t much time, we learn that the park currently closes at seven.

The tree filled park contains lots and lots of dahlias, blooming in every hue. Some plants bear blossoms in more than one color. Walkways surround squares of plantings. Bloodroot investigates Bloodroot items, unknown to his parental units, while Keith and I check out whole aisles of dahlias.

A young man, probably aged two, drives a plastic motorcycle helter-skelter, careening right toward me. His youth allows him decadent speed without paying the slightest bit of attention to what may be in his way. Full speed, kamikaze-like, he approaches Bird and me. I shudder in mock horror. “Hola,” I say. Terrified of a talking woman in a wheelchair, he stops dead in his tracks. The kid backs his motorcycle right into a dahlia bed. Recovering, he charges down one garden lane, then another, much to the annoyance of the two adults attempting to supervise him. He’s very cute. His keepers quickly leave off their exasperation and join in laughing with him.  

We enjoy the gardens for perhaps half an hour.  Far too soon, it’s 6:45PM and a guard begins officiously blowing his whistle to chase everyone out of the garden. Bloodroot, being Bloodroot, finds another exit that he wants us to take, directing us to go to the end of the garden to come out near our house. After providing directions, Bloodroot capitalizes on the opportunity to leave us. He wanders off up some stairs, seeking a palace or something. We encounter the whistleblowing maniac, who, waving violently, sends us in the opposite direction, going back past where Bloodroot abandoned us. We stop to wait for Bloodroot, bringing about furious arm gesticulating and whistleblowing on the part of the guard. I shout, ”Mi hijo viene.” But to no avail. I repeat, “Hijo, hijo, hijo,” pointing behind the guard. (Of course hijo, hijo, hijo, [iho, iho, iho] can begin to sound like a donkey braying.) The red-faced man continues to blow his whistle and wave his arms. His arms begin to make full circles around his body. Puffing, spinning and blowing on his whistle, he resembles a demented windmill. I expect his arms to fly off at any minute, like a cartoon person. Finally, he turns around, sees Bloodroot, and lets us regroup. We leave the gardens highly amused.

We head for home, stopping first to gather groceries. The boys create another fantastic meal. We rejoice in having an Airbnb with a kitchen instead of the non-food monstrosities that caterers force on you, even if we need three elevator rides to get all my cripple crap up to our flat.

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