Dramatis Personae

Dramatis Personae:

Keith, or Bear, a 61 year old male

Jody, or Beaver, a 57 year old crippled female

Bloodroot, or Goat, our 27 year old son

Bird, our collapsible manual wheelchair

Tinky-Winky, my walker

Saturday, August 13, 2016

Sunday, October 4, 2015 - El Born

We enjoy breakfast, including some of the ham we bought last night. Today we plan to visit one of MUHBA’s fifteen locations, namely the Barcelona History Museum. Certain we walked right past this Museum when we went to the Picasso Museum Friday, we carefully plot our Metro course. We head over to that part of town, El Born, positive that we know our destination.

Enjoying the morning, we walk around El Born, only to discover that neither of us really knows the History Museum’s location. We end up at a chocolate museum. Whoops! I find chocolate nauseating in the morning. We skip this museum.

Strolling about, we find the old El Born market which has been closed for a long, long time. The city has taken the space and created a free open-air museum. The city dug up the floor in the old market exposing the underlying Roman ruins. Barcelona was originally Barcino, a Roman town settled by Augustus (as in Roman Emperor Caesar Augustus). Barco means boat in Latin. Underneath the market floor lie old Roman shops and residences. Glass pathways allow viewing the street layout from above.

Venturing further in the museum, we discover a remarkable display of Catalan history documenting the independence movement’s first defeat during the war of the Spanish succession. (Brief history moment: The obscenely inbred, multiply disabled Habsburg Charles II aka Charles the Bewitched died without issue, willing his country to the Bourbons, kings of France, sparking the war of Spanish Succession.) The Catalans supported the losing side during this war, namely the English and the Austrians, neither of whom ever did much for the Catalans, a tragic repeated historical theme. Their demands for life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness echoed ours, only made a century earlier. Very sad, very moving. The Bourbons exacted horrible revenge as they conquered Barcelona. But why did we (the States), seventy years later, get our own country? What saved us? The French or long supply lines?

After a quick lunch, we roll down to the waterfront to the Maritime Museum, free on Sundays. I know Bear will love this one. We walk through the entire thing! We see lots of models of ships, thrilling the Bear. Using both models and full size replicas, the museum shows the development of different sorts of ships. We see a replica of a medieval rowing galley, and the impressive 60-meter-long royal galley Admirals of the Juan de Austria triumphant in the Battle of Lepanto defeating the Turkish Armada off of Malta. We also check out a surfing exhibit that shows all the places people surf. My mind combines medieval knights and surfers, wondering how quickly the armor clad dudes would sink.

Leaving the Museum, we pass a huge statue of Columbus. I must admit some confusion, as Columbus faces east, into the Mediterranean, but he sailed west. Perhaps he sailed facing backwards, so as not to scare his crew with open waters. Nevertheless, he guards the harbor. We decide to at long last walk up the Ramblas from Chris’ statue to Placa de Cataluyna or Catalan square, a pedestrian walk highly praised by Rick Steves. The Ramblas has wavy brick pavement, its best feature. Bird even likes it; the cobbles elsewhere just shake her to the core.

Despite Rick’s recommendation, the Ramblas forms by far the tackiest, stupidest thing we’ve seen in Barcelona, perhaps in all of Europe. Stalls line the walkway stuffed full of identical cheap crap from China. I can’t report even one thing worth seeing. The Ramblas provides only comic relief and the opportunity to dodge pickpockets.

I wonder if I’m outgrowing Rick Steves, once my hero. Things that he endorses as mega-cool I just find stupid. And I don’t agree with him about his choices in art either. (More about this later.) We stopped staying at his recommended hotels long ago after finding ourselves repeatedly surrounded by Americans, not what we came to Europe to see. With Airbnb we rent flats (kitchens and washing machines) right in the middle of everything, for less money.

We take the Metro home and eat tapas again. We fear that we will soon transform, Kafkaesquely, into two giant tapas.

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